Wow, Sara — after weeks of anticipation waiting for this essay, I was bowled over by its beauty and resonance. I can't even figure out one quote to call out, because it's all so spot-on.
In true Gen X fashion, I've also never carried lofty visions for what my future should be. It was more about doing work that felt right and moving on when it no longer felt right. And while many see that as typical of a “slacker” generation, I see it as a way to detach myself from assumptions about what our lives need to entail. It's kept me flexible, nimble, and most importantly fulfilled. I'm glad to see this perspective mirrored in your journey as well. So excited to see where your next pivot takes you. 💙
And for anyone thinking about joining the upcoming Foster season — DO IT! And then attend one of the authoring circles Sara leads. It'll be the highlight of your week!
i love hearing from you, reading you. how you make a group newsletter read so one to one personal is a wonderful mystery like fire itself. thank you for this! 🔥
I really appreciate this post, especially this block:
"In fact, the specificity of other peoples’ ambitions often confused me. Like, how could you know you wanted to be a doctor when you didn’t know what it was like to treat patients day in and day out? Did you really want to be a marine biologist or did you just want to see manatees on the regular? Who the hell actually wants to be president of the United States?? The world made it seem like you should just know what you wanted to do long before you actually did it. Like you should have a giant goal and work backwards to plan your life accordingly. "
Ugh, I relate to so much of this! I've always disliked the "where do you see yourself in 5 years?" question. If you had asked me this 5 years ago from today, I DEFINITELY would not have guessed I'd be where I am now. Some of it has been for the good and some of it hasn't, but hey - I'm still here!
Another big reason I don't like that question is when I'm apprehensive or unsure on how to answer it's always made me feel like I'm going to come off as insecure, or directionless, or lacking ambition/drive/desire - whatever you wanna call it. And it's definitely not that I lack those things, but it's more being in your camp of a "I'll know when I get there" kind of vibe. To some that comes off a certain way and I still get self-conscious about what people will think of my answer (or hesitation, I guess) but I've learned to care way less and less about what others think. What they think is completely out of my hands and out of my control and most are gonna think what they want to regardless. It can still be a tough thing to work through but I'm learning to let a lot more gratitude into my life and focusing on the things I have as opposed to the things I don't. Had you told a younger version of me where I'd be now, some of it would be scary but the progress I've made within my own self is something that wouldn't have been possible had my life not gone down this road.
But I just wanted to thank you for constantly making me feel seen and for the comfort it brings me knowing that others are going (and growing) through something similar.
This was a beautiful essay Sara, I resonated on so many points
I built a fire by myself while camping near Bryce Canyon and felt every bit of your description - it is so hard to build a fire without cheating with a kindling haha but I did it and had to fan it so hard to get the flames to appear and then had to keep fanning to maintain it! Love the parallel of our own fire to how easy that fire dies!!
I also loved how you showed an admission to not having a grand vision in a powerful way, like 'yes society might ask what's wrong with you' but actually you stand in your power: "I do the things I gravitate toward and let the experience be the starting point for whether I want to explore them further."
You had me at “Spark in search of kindling” And your vivid description of a campfire whisked me back to my camping days. So by the time you dove into the tended fire metaphor I was ALL IN. I freaking LOVED this, Sara!! I’ve lived my life in a very similar way... tiny revolutions over big evolutions all day every day. This m.o. can feel plodding and sluggish at times. It takes extra work for folks like us to stoke the fire! But we’re also not used to the high drama of a full blaze so we’re susceptible to burnout. In any case, from the handful of coachable moments I witnessed in Foster S3, you’re brilliant at this vocation!! You’ve earned this spot, stand proud and claim it!! 🔥
Beautiful analogy, Sara, and what an image to open to! It's an excellent reminder to tend that fire. I tend to let it blaze rather than banking it but, like all living things, it requires feeding ;-)
You:"the Tiny Revolutions I’ve been working on for the past two+ years is finding a way to offer my life coaching services to people without feeling like a total fraud. "
"right after Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade committed suicide within a week of each other. I was struck by how little in the way of honest conversation there was about the practice required to get and stay healthy on a mental, emotional, and spiritual level. As a person who has spent many years doing this kind of inner work, I thought, what’s stopping me from speaking out?
...managing depression and anxiety has ...practices ...more resilient..."
especially:
"...the practice required to ...stay healthy on a mental, emotional... level..."
"In 2018 there were plans to kill 6 million Americans by suicide. An Osama Bin Laden copycat ( that Trump is actively recruiting with his violent rhetoric?) only needs 19 to start two Wars?🤯😱😲"
Wow, Sara — after weeks of anticipation waiting for this essay, I was bowled over by its beauty and resonance. I can't even figure out one quote to call out, because it's all so spot-on.
In true Gen X fashion, I've also never carried lofty visions for what my future should be. It was more about doing work that felt right and moving on when it no longer felt right. And while many see that as typical of a “slacker” generation, I see it as a way to detach myself from assumptions about what our lives need to entail. It's kept me flexible, nimble, and most importantly fulfilled. I'm glad to see this perspective mirrored in your journey as well. So excited to see where your next pivot takes you. 💙
And for anyone thinking about joining the upcoming Foster season — DO IT! And then attend one of the authoring circles Sara leads. It'll be the highlight of your week!
i love hearing from you, reading you. how you make a group newsletter read so one to one personal is a wonderful mystery like fire itself. thank you for this! 🔥
I really appreciate this post, especially this block:
"In fact, the specificity of other peoples’ ambitions often confused me. Like, how could you know you wanted to be a doctor when you didn’t know what it was like to treat patients day in and day out? Did you really want to be a marine biologist or did you just want to see manatees on the regular? Who the hell actually wants to be president of the United States?? The world made it seem like you should just know what you wanted to do long before you actually did it. Like you should have a giant goal and work backwards to plan your life accordingly. "
Ugh, I relate to so much of this! I've always disliked the "where do you see yourself in 5 years?" question. If you had asked me this 5 years ago from today, I DEFINITELY would not have guessed I'd be where I am now. Some of it has been for the good and some of it hasn't, but hey - I'm still here!
Another big reason I don't like that question is when I'm apprehensive or unsure on how to answer it's always made me feel like I'm going to come off as insecure, or directionless, or lacking ambition/drive/desire - whatever you wanna call it. And it's definitely not that I lack those things, but it's more being in your camp of a "I'll know when I get there" kind of vibe. To some that comes off a certain way and I still get self-conscious about what people will think of my answer (or hesitation, I guess) but I've learned to care way less and less about what others think. What they think is completely out of my hands and out of my control and most are gonna think what they want to regardless. It can still be a tough thing to work through but I'm learning to let a lot more gratitude into my life and focusing on the things I have as opposed to the things I don't. Had you told a younger version of me where I'd be now, some of it would be scary but the progress I've made within my own self is something that wouldn't have been possible had my life not gone down this road.
But I just wanted to thank you for constantly making me feel seen and for the comfort it brings me knowing that others are going (and growing) through something similar.
I never considered turning the Esther Perel approach inwards, so this is very illuminating! 🔥
This was a beautiful essay Sara, I resonated on so many points
I built a fire by myself while camping near Bryce Canyon and felt every bit of your description - it is so hard to build a fire without cheating with a kindling haha but I did it and had to fan it so hard to get the flames to appear and then had to keep fanning to maintain it! Love the parallel of our own fire to how easy that fire dies!!
I also loved how you showed an admission to not having a grand vision in a powerful way, like 'yes society might ask what's wrong with you' but actually you stand in your power: "I do the things I gravitate toward and let the experience be the starting point for whether I want to explore them further."
thanks for writing this!
Only thing I didn't like about this is you missed out on a perfect title: ON FIRE
You had me at “Spark in search of kindling” And your vivid description of a campfire whisked me back to my camping days. So by the time you dove into the tended fire metaphor I was ALL IN. I freaking LOVED this, Sara!! I’ve lived my life in a very similar way... tiny revolutions over big evolutions all day every day. This m.o. can feel plodding and sluggish at times. It takes extra work for folks like us to stoke the fire! But we’re also not used to the high drama of a full blaze so we’re susceptible to burnout. In any case, from the handful of coachable moments I witnessed in Foster S3, you’re brilliant at this vocation!! You’ve earned this spot, stand proud and claim it!! 🔥
Beautiful analogy, Sara, and what an image to open to! It's an excellent reminder to tend that fire. I tend to let it blaze rather than banking it but, like all living things, it requires feeding ;-)
You:"the Tiny Revolutions I’ve been working on for the past two+ years is finding a way to offer my life coaching services to people without feeling like a total fraud. "
on
https://www.tinyrevolutions.co/about
"right after Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade committed suicide within a week of each other. I was struck by how little in the way of honest conversation there was about the practice required to get and stay healthy on a mental, emotional, and spiritual level. As a person who has spent many years doing this kind of inner work, I thought, what’s stopping me from speaking out?
...managing depression and anxiety has ...practices ...more resilient..."
especially:
"...the practice required to ...stay healthy on a mental, emotional... level..."
https://www.afterbabel.com/p/solving-the-social-dilemma/comment/44400819
"In 2018 there were plans to kill 6 million Americans by suicide. An Osama Bin Laden copycat ( that Trump is actively recruiting with his violent rhetoric?) only needs 19 to start two Wars?🤯😱😲"
Let's collaborate?