Sara, this may be my favorite piece you have written. I have many reactions to the many parts I love (well, I love all of them).
First, I love you wrestling with paradoxes like "We may never run out of suffering or addictions but also we’ll never stop trying to help ourselves and each other to escape them" and "Delusions Are Inexhaustible, I Vow to End Them." We will never end the suffering of the world, but we will keep acting as if we can and will. I appreciate that mentality. (In a different vein, I sometimes think, I will never be able to read every book in the world, but damned if I ain't gonna try.)
Second, you are right -- it is a profound gift you found Angel City Zen Center, and you are a gift to them. And an enormous two-way gift for you to be training as, and becoming, a Lay Teacher.
Third, in your writings about Dharma and your career, I felt like you put my own heart into words only better words than I could have. May you find the work that satisfies or uplifts, and serves your needs as well.
Fourth, you are enough. And worthy and wonderful and beautiful. You are enough.
Fifth, you end with such captivating words: "I can think of no better aim for my life, no better way to spend my time than to find out what this thing we call reality is, to fully experience life exactly as it is. It is not easy, no, but it is simple enough that I can stay true." Yes, may we all spend time finding out about life and reality and living them.
Lastly, as you come to the end (or have ended) of your ango, and begin your life as a Lay Teacher in your tradition and lovely lineage, may I give you a blessing? May the Compassionate Buddha shine upon you and within you, always.
Russell, this is one of the first things I saw coming out of my retreat over the weekend, and it just warmed my heart! Thank you for all of your kind words, and friendship and support over the years. I am so grateful to know you. 💗
Wow. Wow. Wow. This is a fantastic piece. Three wows. We have something in common, by the way. I also come from a family of 9 kids, but I am the only boy, and I grew up with eight sisters. Talk about not fitting in! This sentence floored me: "I was always surrounded by people growing up, but I was so often lonely." That describes exactly how I felt: Lonely but also DIFFERENT. Not able to fit in. It was painful. A constant pain, sometimes acute, sometimes dull, always there. I don't know why it makes me feel better to know other people are in pain. Solidarity, I guess. Thanks for the writing. I just started my own blog, Like A Buffalo, Roam. Wish me luck pls!
This was excellent to read! Thank you for sharing all these thoughts. They echo my own in many ways, but also they’re so uniquely yours and noticeably different from mine. There is a Buddhist center that is being rebuilt less than a half a mile from my house here in Denver. I’ve been excited watching the construction because I will be going to learn and grow and volunteer and contribute in whatever way I’m able.
I really enjoyed this Sara and so many parts of your experiences resonated with me. It’s true when you walk away from things that numb your mind, you do suddenly have time in a way that feels unique in this world.
wow so much to meditate on here! your book “can this be ok?” wow! the house is sold. we stumble thru the sorting here in the condo. nyc saturday! yes! this can be ..
Sara, this may be my favorite piece you have written. I have many reactions to the many parts I love (well, I love all of them).
First, I love you wrestling with paradoxes like "We may never run out of suffering or addictions but also we’ll never stop trying to help ourselves and each other to escape them" and "Delusions Are Inexhaustible, I Vow to End Them." We will never end the suffering of the world, but we will keep acting as if we can and will. I appreciate that mentality. (In a different vein, I sometimes think, I will never be able to read every book in the world, but damned if I ain't gonna try.)
Second, you are right -- it is a profound gift you found Angel City Zen Center, and you are a gift to them. And an enormous two-way gift for you to be training as, and becoming, a Lay Teacher.
Third, in your writings about Dharma and your career, I felt like you put my own heart into words only better words than I could have. May you find the work that satisfies or uplifts, and serves your needs as well.
Fourth, you are enough. And worthy and wonderful and beautiful. You are enough.
Fifth, you end with such captivating words: "I can think of no better aim for my life, no better way to spend my time than to find out what this thing we call reality is, to fully experience life exactly as it is. It is not easy, no, but it is simple enough that I can stay true." Yes, may we all spend time finding out about life and reality and living them.
Lastly, as you come to the end (or have ended) of your ango, and begin your life as a Lay Teacher in your tradition and lovely lineage, may I give you a blessing? May the Compassionate Buddha shine upon you and within you, always.
Russell, this is one of the first things I saw coming out of my retreat over the weekend, and it just warmed my heart! Thank you for all of your kind words, and friendship and support over the years. I am so grateful to know you. 💗
Wow. Wow. Wow. This is a fantastic piece. Three wows. We have something in common, by the way. I also come from a family of 9 kids, but I am the only boy, and I grew up with eight sisters. Talk about not fitting in! This sentence floored me: "I was always surrounded by people growing up, but I was so often lonely." That describes exactly how I felt: Lonely but also DIFFERENT. Not able to fit in. It was painful. A constant pain, sometimes acute, sometimes dull, always there. I don't know why it makes me feel better to know other people are in pain. Solidarity, I guess. Thanks for the writing. I just started my own blog, Like A Buffalo, Roam. Wish me luck pls!
Hey Carl, welcome and thanks for the kind words! Funny you had the inverse situation in your family. Glad the essay resonated.
This was excellent to read! Thank you for sharing all these thoughts. They echo my own in many ways, but also they’re so uniquely yours and noticeably different from mine. There is a Buddhist center that is being rebuilt less than a half a mile from my house here in Denver. I’ve been excited watching the construction because I will be going to learn and grow and volunteer and contribute in whatever way I’m able.
Thank you, Taft! Hope it’s a good experience for you.
"it’ll be sweet to miss the boyfriend I’ll have by [that] time" ...... !!!!
Nothing to add, just -- !!!
That really struck me. Funny, crushing. Props to you, Sara. I'm so glad you're out there.
💗
I really enjoyed this Sara and so many parts of your experiences resonated with me. It’s true when you walk away from things that numb your mind, you do suddenly have time in a way that feels unique in this world.
Right! A good thing but often disorienting.
Sara I loved the way you broke this down for modern times, modern lives.
It was so relatable.
Thank you, Joel!
wow so much to meditate on here! your book “can this be ok?” wow! the house is sold. we stumble thru the sorting here in the condo. nyc saturday! yes! this can be ..
Godspeed and congrats on the house!!! This can be ok!!
Super proud of you and very happy for you! Love all of this!
❤️❤️❤️