Oct 30, 2021Liked by Sara Campbell

The photo, I'm a Highland Park resident. It's oh-so familiar. I moved here from Hollywood in 2014, and for a couple of months I had anxiety about getting onto the 110 from Ave 52. All better now.

You had me at Didion and sealed the deal with Patt Morrison. I've attended some KPCC voting events where Patt spoke. Such a fan.

And the feelings you feel, yes. The next time I get on the 110 I'm going to blast some music and scream my head off. If I don't have a toddler in tow. Ha!

This was my first read of yours. Looking forward to exploring more.

Have a great weekend.

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So much to relate to here, Sara. Thank you. But this:

"Cravings hit and I start thinking about ways to escape — myself, my life, my existence."

And the lines that follow? Oof. Well done.

Here's an October poem I love:


by John Haines

from Winter News

In the quiet house

a lamp is burning

where the book of autumn

lies open on a table.

There is tea with milk

in heavy mugs,

brown raisin cake, and thoughts

that stir the heart

with the promises of death.

We sit without words,

gazing past the limit

of fire into the towering


There are silences so deep

you can hear

the journeys of the soul,

enormous footsteps

downward in a freezing earth.

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For me, it's not exactly chaos. It's that I crave ecstatic experience, which in other times and cultures had a place in community and religious life. In our Puritanical country, not so much. So, this very human urge to slip the bounds of self and get ecstatic has its only outlet in substances and reckless behavior. I did that for a long time. Now it just makes me stressed and my body can't bounce back the way it used to, so it's just not worth it. But I still crave it.

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I used to fly out to LA on the regular in the ’90s, before TSA took over … into Ontario and created chaos with the locals managing locals… loved the beach sand that hit into everything and the 5 to San Diego … I need to go back soon, just to be…

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This was one of your good ones, Sara. Man, “a little chaos before dinnertime” resonated hard.

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so much to think about. a big bite of thought after thought to return to many times this week. hate the 110 btw! hate it!

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Funny - I worked in Pasadena long ago. Flying into LAX Monday mornings, hoping for a cool rental car, then driving the curvy 110 to Pasadena :-)

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Oct 11, 2021Liked by Sara Campbell

Have to admit, I'm envious of your occasional desire for a little "chaos before dinnertime." I can't handle chaos at all and try hard to avoid it. It can make for a very narrow life at times. Cherish you experience. If I'd courted a little more chaos throughout my life, I think I would handle it better when it comes up now, which I think is your point.

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