thinking about when to push and when to let go
I was just thinking that it's not too soon to talk about love. I'm glad you brought it up.
Repeat after me: I am exactly the right person in the right place at the right time.
Everything I've ever done has been right. Everything I'll ever do will be right.
I know I'm the right person with the right response in this moment because this moment has been waiting for me for all eternity until I was ready for it.
We're going to kick some ass in this life! Change the whole plan! We're ready.
The way I needed to hear this today. My god. Such upheaval. So much trying. So many goal and so little impetus but so much desire. Whole life upside down. Whole goal right now is to focus on me but I don’t know how to do that when my heart is breaking and I may or may not be losing the most important person I’ve ever known and I don’t THINK I am. I THINK I’m making the right choices and going in the right direction and TRYING the right things but my brain is just a maelstrom and we’re in the middle of a heatwave and we didn’t even get Spring and I don’t know how to find myself inside all this mess!
And yet somehow in the middle of it the Universe keeps sending me little messages like this post and I know all I have to do is stick with the programme but goddamn patience is hard for me.
Thanks for another warm and thought-provoking post, Sara. I'm also trying and not trying. My tendency is to let myself off working towards my goals until a deadline forces some action, but at the same time nagging myself so that I don't enjoy or benefit from the downtime! I'm laughing as I write - it's such an old pattern! Today I'm writing a to-do list so that I can reduce the nagging and enjoy my off time :)
This is excellent, and much needed in my life right now, Sara. Thank you.
Wow, you really put into words something I have been thinking about and struggling with for so long — this sense of always striving and trying, but also being hyper-aware of this and either a) feeling guilty about it and/or b) trying to dial it back. I can't tell you what a comfort it is knowing I'm not alone! (Reading the comments here is also comforting).
Thanks for writing about it so eloquently. I have been working on accepting this tug-of-war within myself, and moving forward I will work on being a little kinder to myself about it. How can my two selves co-exist? My slacker self despises ambition, while my ambitious self, well, truly wishes there were more time in the day. Anyway...life is short. So, I guess it's all about maintaining some level of balance and perspective no matter which version of "me" shows up on a given day.
Good stuff, enjoyed reading this!
Can I ask you what you mean by “but I’m finding they change the dynamic of this project.”? Thanks
i have pushed myself to write for 50 years and for the last two months i have entered a stream of writing. now waiting for the diet and fitness “current” that will sweep me along to my less is more goal. loved hearing from you and your revolutions.
I mostly try. For example, for the past several weeks I've been working on a grant application for financial support to work on a graphic memoir. But that doesn't mean I'm not also conscious of "going with the flow". Not resisting what is. Letting go of expectations. Et cetera. I think there needs to be both because... if I didn't *ever* try, there'd be a lot of couch potato action going on...